The Knock on the Door

I remember the night I gave my life to Christ. It was during a Sunday evening prayer session on May 23, 2013. I was 13 years old and have been raised in church since birth. I knew of God, but God did not know me. I say this because church was just something I did because my parents did it so technically I went to church to please my parents, not because I had any convictions of God. On that particular night, however, I left to church with my family and for the first time in my life  I told myself "Today I'm actually going to listen." I've grown accustomed to daydreaming during church but that night, my spirit was quiet. Till today, I honestly can not say what made me just want to listen that night but as I sit here to type this, I am realizing that my soul was longing for home. Though only 13, life had been hard and my spirit was tired of wandering. In my heart of hearts, I knew there was something greater than me that was calling me. I was a very insecured girl with low self-esteem. I did not love nor respect myself or my body and so I thought it was okay for other people to treat me bad. I cursed people, fought people, called myself and others b**** but yet I sang in the choir on Sundays because I had no respect of God either. At the age of 13 I was already planning how I was going party in high school and get guys and you can only imagine what my plans for college were! My life was headed in a dangerous direction and I was destroying myself with my own hands. Yet the Lord had been patiently waiting at the door of my heart, knocking and that night, my soul wanted to hear Him out and just see what exactly He wanted and His reason for the knocks.

I don't remember what the preacher was saying at all from that night. It felt like it was only me and God there and the room was whited out. I cried to God that night to hear me, I asked Him if He knew about all my hurt and pain, I questioned His ability to handle my mess, I confessed my doubts about Him: Was He real? Could He really forgive me? Save me? LOVE ME?! He assured me that He loved me, that He has already forgiven me, and that nothing I do can separate me from His love and then He told me to surrender to Him. I remember that part so clearly because I screamed NO! I told Him that I'm scared of being disappointed that I don't trust anyone to handle my life but me and He pulled at my heart and cried to me "TRUST ME!". The moment was so intense and I knew there was a battle for my soul that night! God was on one side calling to me and the devil with his lies was trying hard to keep me and it was up to me to make a decision! So with everything in me, I surrendered to Jesus! That moment, with red eyes and stuff-mucus filled nose, a peace that I've never felt before came into my life! I felt so free, like someone had been holding me under water and finally let up up to breathe! There are not enough words to describe that feeling when the Lord took my sins upon Himself and REDEEMED ME! I have never felt anything close to that feeling before and I just knew that God was real!As I felt the presence of God hugging me, I remember I kept crying, "Please Lord give me grace to follow You! Help me! Help me serve You" because I was so scared of serving a Perfect God. I told Him that He needed to speak to me to reassure me of His love and promises and God heard my cry and directed me to Isaiah 43

But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom,
    Cush^[a] and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you,I will give people in exchange for you,
    nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you.

After reading that, I know 100% that I have met with the one True God! His Words were so perfect and it gave me PEACE! That is my experience and since then God has changed me from the inside out and changed my perspectives on everything.  Who I am today is a result of His love, grace and mercy so today, almost 10 years later, I stand as a witness for the Lord Jesus Christ. Though I was going to share this on May 23rd, it was place on my heart to share my story tonight just to let everyone know that God is real. It hurts my heart to see girls that are struggling with the same low self-esteem I struggled with, when their Father made them with such great value! It hurts to see young man wasting away their youth and strength, living for material things that will not last and dying in the process. When I was 13, I used to say "I'll have fun now, and give my life to God when I'm older" but this is the biggest lie of the devil. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone! Life is too short to postpone such a decision. I have friends who have died at 21, 22, 25, 26 and this is why the Word of God says 

" Remember Your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say "I have no pleasure in them"- Ecclesiastes 12:1

 That night is the single most important night of my life and today, the Lord is standing at the door of your heart, knocking, ready to save you too. There's is no sin He cannot forgive AND forget, neither is there any life that He cannot turn around. What God can do with your life is far better than anything you can imagine for yourself. He already knows that you are not perfect, He knows about everything you've done, YET He wants You! Today God is calling again for you. His grace is sufficient in helping you, and His mercy will make-up for your shortcomings. Do not be afraid. All the Lord requires from you is your heart. Confess and accept Jesus into your life. In addition, if we profess to be Christians, have we absolutely surrendered to Christ? If not let us make a new declaration for Christ today. It scares me to think that if I had died before May 23, 2003, I would've been in eternal separation from God because though I went to church, I was not a born-again believer. Let us not play with our salvation for a time is coming when it'll be too late to change.  This is the cry of my heart tonight that we all come to know Christ and have the abundant life that is only found in Him. If no one has ever told you, know this: Jesus Loves You! 

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T.M.V- Revelation 3:20

"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."

Be Good to People

What has been on my heart lately is the phrase " Be good to people". I can be quoted saying that I'm in the business of unnecessary kindness which is kindness with no strings attached, being good to people just because. The Lord has worked hard on me to get me to this point in my spiritual journey where I know the importance of genuinely loving people. I put the word "genuinely" as the adjective to describe my love for people because I look around and I see a lot of pretending and what is known as a lot of lip-service in love and friendship. When kindness come from the lips and not the heart, we fool ourselves, not God. The Word of God says

" Just as water reflects the face, so the heart reflect the person" - Psalm 27:19
"A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart"- Proverbs21:2

I've have been in serious thought of this lately and when my spirit ponders on something, I have a tendency to be very quiet or to in a way, detach myself from my surrounding. In my solitude, I wondered, if the Lord weighs the heart, then how much exactly does my heart weigh before God? I can profess to love you, can be nice to you by my own standards, but are my actions pure before God? Am I being nice to you and wishing you well, but secretly within myself wishing you to fail or experience bad luck? When I say I am happy for you, do I mean it?  If the heart reflects the person, then what kind of person I am...to God? These were the questions that were running through my head and the Lord gave me the answer. The Lord placed the following prayer in my heart: "Father all that this person has done for me, I want you to do double that for them" then He said to me " Feefe, If the person you are wondering how you treat them, stands before Me to say this prayer, how will you feel?"

That's when it hit me and the Lord began to explain to me. The prayer can either be a blessing or a curse. If you have been sincere in your dealings with people, then the prayer is a blessing. If you've spent time praying for the success and health of others,  if you've celebrated with them in their time of jubilee and offered comfort in their time of sorrow, then when those people stand before God and say "Father double what they wish for me to them", imagine the blessing that comes your way! BUT if you've spent your time in eye-service, pretending to care when you truly were happy that something unfortunate happened to a "friend", or withholding help when they needed you, then that prayer is a curse and it should make you very uncomfortable. The Lord said at the end of the following verse

"I will bless those that bless you and whoever curses you shall be cursed"- Genesis 12:9

Just when you thought you could "get away" with treating people however you want, God is like #POW! That verse scares me. There's so much power in that statement! Whether we are blessed or cursed can be attributed to how we treat others. This is why some people, though less educated and less prominent in society, always seem to be one step ahead because they give, they give constantly, and they give whole-heartedly. Their kindness doesn't even have to be known, they don't need to be recognized or applauded because they love as a way to serve God. Sincerity goes a long with God and He will honor that which you do in love.  If you don't think that you are blessed, instead of praying for yourself, take the time to say a prayer for someone else. Instead of seeking comfort, be the one to comfort someone. In everything, surrender yourself to the service of others. Do not let your kindness be dependent on how others treat you. Even when you are mistreated, love! Don't repay evil with evil but overcome evil with good! Do good! You gain by losing when it comes to the things of God so make it a little less about you, and more of Him because He must increase and you must decrease. (John3:30). When you commit yourself to God, He handles your business! (Matther6:33) so be good to people and be sincere in your thoughts towards them. It can only bless you. May the Lord break our hearts for what breaks His and may we never stop desiring to be more like Him. Amen.

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T.M.V -Proverbs14:31

"Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God."

Happy Resurrection Day!!

I want to wish everyone a happy Easter celebration of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! The Grave is empty!! Our Savior is Risen! Thank You for loving us Lord!!

The Song says it All!

♫Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He's coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day ♫

Yorkamazing <3

T.M.V- Mark 16: 6

And he saith unto them, Be not affrighted: Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified: he is risen; he is not here: behold the place where they laid him

What About You? -Cece Winans

Everybody's looking for a peace that flowsAnd everybody wants a place to goNobody wants to kneel and pray

So nobody receives results without faithWhen someone falls along the waysideAnd everybody knows whyAnother heart sadly broken

Everybody needs someone to loveEverybody wants some hand to holdEverybody needs salvation for their soulSo what about you?

Everybody wants to live life goodDoes anyone live the way they shouldIt's never too late to turn around'Cuz everyone lost can be found

So when you're feeling so aloneDon't think that you can't come homeAnd when you want to be heldMy arms are open so let me know

Everybody needs someone to loveEverybody wants some hand to holdEverybody needs salvation for their soulSo what about you?

Yorkamazing <3

No Condemnation

I've been on the topic newness for a while now but the phrase place in my spirit today about newness was "No Condemnation." I want to write on the subject of a new beginning in Christ Jesus and reflect on the mercy of God. Romans 8:1 says

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"

Often times we get stuck on our past mistakes and shortcomings that we condemn ourselves. It is a good thing that we feel remorse for our wrong doings because that is a sign of the hand of the Holy Spirit pulling us towards righteousness. In our remorse however, we must remember God's mercy. There is no sin that God's mercy cannot pardon IF we come to Him and repent. If you search the Word of God and look at the life of David, you will see the abundance of God's mercy. David lied, committed adultery with another man's wife and then killed the husband, yet the Bible describes him as "a man after God's heart". Why? Because every time David fell short of God's glory, he realized it and approached God crying on bended knees. 

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned "- Psalm 51: 1-4a

God is a Just God but He's a loving God. He will not turn a deaf ear to your cries. We cannot hold God to the standards of how man forgives. If you offend someone today, they may forgive you but they may not. In the case where they do forgive, often times we hear them say "I can forgive, but never forget." This is not how God works. God forgives AND forgets. He will never use something you did 5 years ago or 5 minutes ago against you if you've truly repented. His mercies are new every morning meaning there is always enough mercy to cover you. All the Lord requires of you is a broken spirit. 

"The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."-Psalm 51:17

With this we can boldly approach the throne of Grace and Mercy and ask for forgiveness. Jesus Christ died on the cross for you and me, for all the wrong we've done, for all the wrongs we do daily, and for all the wrongs that we can possibly commit. You are covered! This is not an excuse to live recklessly though.Apostle Paul asked " Should we continue in sin that grace may abide?" and he answered himself saying " God forbid". God's mercy covers us when we fall, but His grace enables us to strive towards perfection and a holy life. Therefore if you are struggling with past mistakes and sin, I urge you to go to God about it and ask for His forgiveness. He will forgive but then you also must forgive yourself. You are still precious to Him, you are still of great value. Remember that a lost piece of gold has not lost its value, just its usefulness. If that lost gold is found, it still carries the value of gold therefore know that you are still God's gold. Allow God to restore you to your proper position in life. 

Jesus Restores

Yorkamazing <3

T.M.V- 2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

The Grace to Love

Tonight I read 1 Corinthians 13. It's one of my all time favorite chapters in the Bible because it speaks on the real definition of LOVE which is Christ-Like sacrificial love, the type that hurts you when you CHOOSE to act it out. Today at work I witness a particular event occur that involved two pharmacist working at different stores, and an elderly man that needed approximately 12 prescriptions filled. The man seemed to be having a hard time with his primary pharmacist who didn't appear concerned with whether or not the elderly man got his medications. After many unsuccessful tries to which the pharmacist told the man " if you don't like it, switch pharmacies!" this man called our pharmacy to transfer his prescriptions over. My pharmacist was able to transfer the prescriptions and I filled it all for the man. Upon arriving to pick up his medication, the man expressed his gratitude and vowed to permanently remain with our store because of his pleasant experience. While at work something about this experience dawned on me. Both pharmacist were highly qualified and capable of helping this man so I began to ask myself, what was the difference between these pharmacist that made the man prefer our location over the competitor? It was LOVE. I often time hear that no one cares what you know until they know how much you care. This was the case. Both pharmacist are pharmaceutical doctors and masters of their field yet one spoke in hostility and the other in love, and love made the difference. This is what the 1 Corinthian 13 meant.

       " If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 

  
No matter how educated we are, if we walk without love, we will have ZERO influence on the world. I cannot talk about love without mentioning that Love is not a feeling, it is a deliberate choice to reflect Christ in our relationships with others. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

More times then not, loving people will involve being able to forgive them. I find it interesting that 1 Corinthians 13 says that "Love keeps no record of wrongs" which means Love turns the other cheek over and over again just like Christ did. In the Scripture they ask Jesus, " Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" -Matthew 18:21 "If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."- Luke 17:4 With dealing with love we have to remember the Lord's prayer that said " Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us". We will never know love, until we learn to forgive for it was in forgiving us of our sins, that Christ showed His Love for us. In a world that doesn't recognize Christ, we must choose to be the walking reflection of Him. Our speech should encourage like His, our hands should hug like His, our feet should tread the path of peace, and our hearts should show forth His compassion to the very least among us. Love is a hard choice when we try to do it own our own because we are imperfect, but the grace of God can help us. It makes a difference in how others see us, and will even make people that do not know God, at the very least, inquire about the God that we serve that makes us so different. I pray to God that He helps us to be like Him everyday. The song "Jesus Friend of Sinners" by Casting Crowns have been on my heart all week and the line that resonates with me is "♫ Let our hearts be led by mercy, Help us reach with open hearts and open doors. Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks Yours ♫- ♥ I pray that the things that break God's heart will break our hearts too. I pray that we all become agents of love and forgiveness and may we learn each day to put aside our hurt and pride, and reach out with love not for us, but for the Glory of God. Amen.

Yorkamazing <3

T.M.V- Matthew 18:21

                        "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

In You we live, and move and Have our Being

For a while I have been so busy and still am busy with school. Trying to graduate is no joke! Anyways, I have been reciting this verse for a couple of days now and wanted to share it with you all.

 Acts 17:28a

" For in Him we live and move and have our being" 

As we go about the business of life, it's important to stop and realize that it is Christ that gives us the grace to do all that we are doing. It is in Him that we live. Every breathe is a gift from Him. The grace to go out and come back in peace to the place we call home is the working of His grace. It is in Him that we move. The Bible says that the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord (Psalm 37:23). He levels the uneven paths, makes straight the crooked roads and opens the doors to the paths that were closed off from us. It is in Him that we have our being. All that we are and can ever be, it is IN HIM, BECAUSE OF HIM!  I pray that we never lose sight of this. May we never be too tired to acknowledge Christ, the Author and Finisher of our faith. 

As I live, I am constantly reminding myself to slow down sometimes, and just sit quietly in His presence. Below is an old song that I first heard during a service at my church in Austin, TX. I remember the day I heard this song. It was in the middle of a horrible week of classes, exams, and i was  falling apart. I felt so weak and so helpless but that Sunday I forced myself to get out of bed and went to church. I just needed to hear God say that it will be okay because everything in me was crying. As broken as I was, when I entered the service, I heard the Pastor say that that day's service was going to be different. He spoke how God spoke to him and told him that His people needed to rest. The lights in the service were low and the entire service was a peaceful worship service. Immediately, the choir sang this song and I broke down and cried right there in service. How awesome is this God that He would see all that I was going through and decide to give me peace? I cried throughout the entire song and felt the peace of God fall on me. My strength was renewed and I left church feeling so alive! What is the purpose of all this that i'm writing? The main point is to STOP and find rest in Jesus Christ. Allow Him to lead you and strengthen you. In Him you live, move, and have your being so do not try to do it on your own.  Don't get too busy that you forget the source of your strength. 

Take Rest in Me- Deitrick Haddon

Yorkamazing <3