Sunday, April 14, 2013

The Knock on the Door

I remember the night I gave my life to Christ. It was during a Sunday evening prayer session on May 23, 2013. I was 13 years old and have been raised in church since birth. I knew of God, but God did not know me. I say this because church was just something I did because my parents did it so technically I went to church to please my parents, not because I had any convictions of God. On that particular night, however, I left to church with my family and for the first time in my life  I told myself "Today I'm actually going to listen." I've grown accustomed to daydreaming during church but that night, my spirit was quiet. Till today, I honestly can not say what made me just want to listen that night but as I sit here to type this, I am realizing that my soul was longing for home. Though only 13, life had been hard and my spirit was tired of wandering. In my heart of hearts, I knew there was something greater than me that was calling me. I was a very insecured girl with low self-esteem. I did not love nor respect myself or my body and so I thought it was okay for other people to treat me bad. I cursed people, fought people, called myself and others b**** but yet I sang in the choir on Sundays because I had no respect of God either. At the age of 13 I was already planning how I was going party in high school and get guys and you can only imagine what my plans for college were! My life was headed in a dangerous direction and I was destroying myself with my own hands. Yet the Lord had been patiently waiting at the door of my heart, knocking and that night, my soul wanted to hear Him out and just see what exactly He wanted and His reason for the knocks.

I don't remember what the preacher was saying at all from that night. It felt like it was only me and God there and the room was whited out. I cried to God that night to hear me, I asked Him if He knew about all my hurt and pain, I questioned His ability to handle my mess, I confessed my doubts about Him: Was He real? Could He really forgive me? Save me? LOVE ME?! He assured me that He loved me, that He has already forgiven me, and that nothing I do can separate me from His love and then He told me to surrender to Him. I remember that part so clearly because I screamed NO! I told Him that I'm scared of being disappointed that I don't trust anyone to handle my life but me and He pulled at my heart and cried to me "TRUST ME!". The moment was so intense and I knew there was a battle for my soul that night! God was on one side calling to me and the devil with his lies was trying hard to keep me and it was up to me to make a decision! So with everything in me, I surrendered to Jesus! That moment, with red eyes and stuff-mucus filled nose, a peace that I've never felt before came into my life! I felt so free, like someone had been holding me under water and finally let up up to breathe! There are not enough words to describe that feeling when the Lord took my sins upon Himself and REDEEMED ME! I have never felt anything close to that feeling before and I just knew that God was real!As I felt the presence of God hugging me, I remember I kept crying, "Please Lord give me grace to follow You! Help me! Help me serve You" because I was so scared of serving a Perfect God. I told Him that He needed to speak to me to reassure me of His love and promises and God heard my cry and directed me to Isaiah 43
But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom,
    Cush[a] and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you,I will give people in exchange for you,
    nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you.
After reading that, I know 100% that I have met with the one True God! His Words were so perfect and it gave me PEACE! That is my experience and since then God has changed me from the inside out and changed my perspectives on everything.  Who I am today is a result of His love, grace and mercy so today, almost 10 years later, I stand as a witness for the Lord Jesus Christ. Though I was going to share this on May 23rd, it was place on my heart to share my story tonight just to let everyone know that God is real. It hurts my heart to see girls that are struggling with the same low self-esteem I struggled with, when their Father made them with such great value! It hurts to see young man wasting away their youth and strength, living for material things that will not last and dying in the process. When I was 13, I used to say "I'll have fun now, and give my life to God when I'm older" but this is the biggest lie of the devil. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone! Life is too short to postpone such a decision. I have friends who have died at 21, 22, 25, 26 and this is why the Word of God says 

" Remember Your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say "I have no pleasure in them"- Ecclesiastes 12:1

 That night is the single most important night of my life and today, the Lord is standing at the door of your heart, knocking, ready to save you too. There's is no sin He cannot forgive AND forget, neither is there any life that He cannot turn around. What God can do with your life is far better than anything you can imagine for yourself. He already knows that you are not perfect, He knows about everything you've done, YET He wants You! Today God is calling again for you. His grace is sufficient in helping you, and His mercy will make-up for your shortcomings. Do not be afraid. All the Lord requires from you is your heart. Confess and accept Jesus into your life. In addition, if we profess to be Christians, have we absolutely surrendered to Christ? If not let us make a new declaration for Christ today. It scares me to think that if I had died before May 23, 2003, I would've been in eternal separation from God because though I went to church, I was not a born-again believer. Let us not play with our salvation for a time is coming when it'll be too late to change.  This is the cry of my heart tonight that we all come to know Christ and have the abundant life that is only found in Him. If no one has ever told you, know this: Jesus Loves You! 

T.M.V- Revelation 3:20
"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."


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