Merry CHRISTmas!

Today, many countries, tribes, and people around the world will pause for a while to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! Though no one knows the exact day Christ was born, because this very day has been chosen as a day to remember the event, I join the celebration in my own little way by reflecting about what this day means to me. The very foundation of my faith, my religion, my purpose in life is founded on the fact that a perfect God lowered Himself into a filthy world to save imperfect people because of LOVE. Today is not about  Christmas trees, exchanging of gifts, or eating and drinking, but it is a sober day to rethink the life we are living and realize that we have been given a second chance.

"For unto us a Child is born,

Unto us a Son is given;

And the government will be upon His shoulder.

And His name will be called

Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."- Isaiah 9:6-7

The birth of Christ offers the gift of forgiveness and redemption from past sins and things we may have done knowingly or unknowingly that separated us from God. Jesus came to stand in the gap for us that we may be reconciled back unto Him that is called "Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace". Through the birth of Christ we are given the opportunity to have a relationship with God the Father but only if we choose and it is my earnest prayer that we all choose that gift today. We do not deserve it so with humbled spirits, sober minds, and glad hearts, let us reverence this day in Holiness.  May the joy and glad tidings of this season, the same ones the angels sung about, be yours. God bless you all. Merry Christmas!

Yorkamazing <3 

T.M.V-John 1: 14

" And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth"

It was because God showed Mercy

I have been in my Word a lot lately and it's true what the Bible says when it said seek and you shall find. I decided that I was going to read a chapter of the Bible everyday in my 15 minutes shuttle ride to campus. I randomly opened my Bible and landed on Romans so I started from Romans chapter 1. From my time in God's Word, I came across a scripture that has been on my heart now for about 2 weeks and this was Romans chapter nine.

"For He says to Moses, " I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion. So it is not of him that wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy"- Romans 9:15-16

This very scripture still gives me chills whenever I read it. Of all the things we wish for in life and pursue in life, none of it is made possible because of us, but simply because God showed us mercy! The timing of this scripture was so perfect! I was in the middle of so many exams and trying my very best to do well on them and God just put me on pause to remind me that none of my efforts really matter at the end of the day. I can study all I want, I can drink all the coffee I want to make sure I stay up late to do more studying, but at the end of the day, God said it is up to HIM to show mercy and compassion on whomever He wills! It is the favor of God that powers all of our efforts and makes them successful, not because we are the smartest nor because we have all the riches in the world! It is His mercy!

I was left in awe of God when He gave me this revelation. I felt humbled and so unworthy of His love but as I was feeling unworthy and asking God "why me", He reminded me again of the same verse where it said "I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion". He let me know that yes I am unworthy BUT He has chosen to have mercy on me just because! That was His answer, just because! Regardless of what I may think or what anyone else may think of me, ultimately, He alone decided He was going to be merciful and compassionate towards me. How great is our God! I do not believe that it is a coincidence that my last blog post was about God's grace, and then this one is about His mercy! His grace gives us what we do not deserve and His mercy keeps us from getting what we truly deserve. We may labor and study for degrees, strive to excel at our jobs, but what we call success is not a result of our efforts. God just decided to show us mercy because of His abundant love for us. For this reason, I pray that we grow to appreciate God for everything His mercy has allowed us to achieve or become in life. For reasons best known to Him alone, He has chosen us to be the "whomever" in Romans 9:15-16. Our efforts are good, but His mercy is what makes the difference. He is worthy of our adoration!

Yorkamazing <3

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T.M.V- Ephesians 2:4-5

 "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved"

Do You Know How Much Grace.....

A question God has been dropping in my heart for the last couple of days, or should I say couple of weeks, is "Do you know how much of My grace it takes to get you through one single day?" My answer has been "No" each time this question drops on my heart, but I've been thinking about this lately. Exactly how much of God's grace do I rely on each day? After not much thought, because it didn't take long to realize,  I realized that in order for me to do anything, and I mean anything, God's grace is involved. The scripture God placed on my heart when I began trying to answer God's question was Acts 17:28.

" For in Him we live, and move, and have our being, as also some of our own poets have said, "For we are  also His offspring" (New King James Version)

From this verse the Lord showed me that everything about me, happens through Him and because of Him. Simply put, there would be no me without Him. In Him we live everyday in a whole that does not recognize Him. During the days where God was teaching me about His abundant grace, I read about the mall shooting in Nairobi, Kenya that killed over 60 people and wounded many, I read about the shooting at Washington D.C Navy yard that left 13 dead, and I even read about the church bombing in Peshawar, Pakistan that killed over 85 of God's people!  These events happened within days of each other and I remember just  realizing that I've been selfish with my thanksgiving because everyday is truly a gift! You and I are no better than the victims of these tragedies but grace stepped in on our behalf. The Word of God in Ecclesiastes says that time and chance happens to all (Eccle. 9:11-12) meaning that the mere fact that we are living in this world means we are open to the likelihood of these events happening to us, yet at times we fail to appreciate God's grace that takes us from day to day.

We, including myself, have grown to become entitled children that expect good things, but seldomly pause to say thank you. The best definition of God's grace I've heard said that grace is God giving us what we do not deserve. God does not owe us anything, yet He gives us everything! Once I started grasping the depth of God's grace, God now reminded me of the 10 lepers that were healed, yet only one returned to thank Jesus for the healing (Luke 17:11-19), but sadly, God is still asking the "where are the other nine?"question from verse 17. In this case, "the other nine" is referring to us, everyone who enjoys the grace of God, yet never return to say thank you.  We know to thank God for promotions, anniversaries, birthdays, and graduate school admission,  but what about occasions such as waking up, going to and from work, health, food, shelter, and everything else that is a part of daily grace? The Bible says "God is able to make ALL grace abound towards you, that you, always having sufficiency in ALL things may have an abundance for every good work" -2 Corinthians 9:8. God is asking all of us, do you really know how much grace keeps you? Do you know how many times grace has stood in the gap for you? Do you know how much grace it takes to keep you breathing while you sleep? Do you know how much grace keeps you safe on the highway? How many angels have God given charge over you to watch over you? The grace of God is not limited to the big things alone, so neither should our praise be limited to those things. There is no area of your life that God's grace does not touch. When we start to realize this we will develop a heart of gratitude and become like the one man with leprosy that came back to say "Thank you". That is my challenge now and I challenge you also to join me. Let us strive to become a people of God who acknowledge Him daily, so that thanksgiving becomes not just what we do sometimes, but who we are all the time. For all that You have done, all that You are doing, all that You have planned, and even if You don't do anything else, Lord we thank You.

Yorkamazing <3

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T.M.V Psalms 124: 1-6

"If it had not been the Lord who was on our side, now may Israel say; If it had not been the Lord who was on our side, when men rose up against us:Then they had swallowed us up quick, when their wrath was kindled against us: Then the waters had overwhelmed us, the stream had gone over our soul: Then the proud waters had gone over our soul.Blessed be the Lord, who hath not given us as a prey to their teeth."

Pharmacy & I

I started Pharmacy school this week! *Insert loud screaming here!* Those that know my struggles and challenges will understand my praise when I say that "God is faithful!".  Indeed He has brought me a mighty long way. Well in my first week of classes, I've been quiet and very observant of not only the institution that I am now in, but the profession that I, by the grace of God, have chosen to be a part of. I am happy that after a week of observation, I can confidently say that this is what I want to do with my life. I have longed known that I loved people. My dreams as a child, and still my dream today, was to get an opportunity just to meet everyone on the face of the earth to say "hi", and if they'll allow me, to give them a hug. (lol) It sounds silly, but that's what my dream was because my heart feels for people. One of the very blessings of not being raised in abundance, is that  regardless of what you end up attaining in life, you have learned to sympathize and empathize with the less fortunate, because you have first hand experience on how it feels to go hungry and how to survive on next to nothing. Because of these experiences, you have to be completely heartless to then achieve something in life and refuse to offer assistant to someone in the very same position that you were once in.

I asked God to help me not only go to school, but to get an education that will place me in a position to offer assistance to those around me. I wanted to share Christ in my education because I believe in the ministry of 'living'. What I mean by this is that, as Christians we miss out on so many opportunities to introduce people to Christ, not by words, but by our actions! I've heard that "no one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care", and in terms of spreading the Gospel, that statement still holds true! Scripture tells us in Philippians 2:4 " Let each of you look out not only for his own interest, but also for the interest of others." We are to be concern about the welfare of others and bear each other's burdens. We share Christ through living in compassion, showing kindness, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, mourning with those that mourn, and celebrating with those that are celebrating. In doing these things and reflecting the perfect love of Christ, the objects of our kindness will be inclined to ask about the God we serve that makes us so different!

This brings me back to pharmacy as a profession. To summarize my first week, all I heard was that pharmacy is a profession where we serve others. Throughout orientation, the deans and professors all mention this statement in various ways informing us about how necessary it is for us to learn and comprehend the materials in each course, because for the first time in our educational careers, our knowledge of course material is for our future patients. It is no longer about us! Now I see why God brought me here. While writing this blog, God dropped it in my heart that when we ask for something, let us ask according to His Will. God reminded me of the story of Hannah and her desire for a son. Hannah needed a son, God needed a prophet, and God knew that if He gave her a son, she will in turn, give the son back to God to be used by God. (1 Samuel 1: 11) As a result, God answered her prayer and killed two birds with one stone because Hannah's request lined up with God's Will!! I asked for an education, and God needs more people to be servers in this world, so He has strategically placed me in a profession where I can share the Love of Christ, even if I never utter a word. For this, I give Him all the glory. And today, just like Hannah, I will give God back what He has given me: I will honor Him in the profession He has placed me, loving, caring, serving, and learning all to His glory. The road ahead may be rough, but I am confident in this, that He that began a good work in [me] shall complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." -Philippians 1:6

Yorkamazing <3

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T.M.V - Colossians 3:23

"Whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men"

She Doesn't Want Your Money

A few days ago I took a trip to Wal*Mart and on my way back to my car to unload my groceries, I was approached by a man. I suppose he was interested in starting a conversation and flashing his title because his opening line was, " Hi, are you a lawyer? You look like a woman I went to Law School with." I smiled and  told him that I am not and he is mistaking me for someone else to which he proceeded to compliment me on my smile and beauty. Again, I thanked him and continued on to my car. This man followed me and asked my name. When I told him my name he handed me his business card and said, " Feefe you are very beautiful. I would love to take you out and spend money on you. I want to spend money on you." In my head I was busy figuring a way to dismiss him kindly but he wouldn't stop insisting that he is a lawyer and has money to spend. I finally took his business card, to which he said, "please call me during business hours. You are beautiful and I want to wine and dine you. Promise you will call me." I smiled again, told him to have a good day, and went my way all the while a thousand thoughts were rushing through my head. This was the third time that same week that I've had similar experiences and all these experiences have made me ponder on what some men have reduced women to. Not every women is moved by money.There are still plenty of women that are moved by a man's character. 

Proverbs 27:19 says "As water reflects the face of man, so does the heart reflect the man." The heart of the man at Wal*Mart revealed many things wrong with him and hence why I tore up his business card as soon as I got to my car. First of all, he was an older man; a man that is expected to be married with children. The mere fact that he is interested in toasting a younger woman reveals his immaturity and fleshy/lustful desires. Such men are only interested in obtaining sexual gains from the women they approach. Secondly, what responsible men tells the woman he wants to "wine and dine" to only call him "during business hours?" What is he hiding? Perhaps his poor wife and kids that he has to return home to at night. It sickens and saddens me to know that there are men who are just like this guy; men that have lost sight on what the Bible called them to be. The Word of God says

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the console of the ungodly. Nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in His law does he meditate day and night"-Psalm 1:1-2

What happened to men that delighted themselves in the service of God? Regardless of relationship status, the Bible clearly lays out what a man should be like. The Bible tells the unmarried man to be concern with how to please the Lord. (2 Corinthians 7:32) It is by first seeking the Kingdom of God AND His righteousness, that all other things are added unto us. (Matt6:33). Therefore a Godly man should not be be plotting ways to lure a women by money or job titles, but rather should be praying for  God to mold his character into a man that represents the image of Christ.

"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Against which, there is no law. "-Galatians 5:22-23

As much as I've talked about the Godly man, it's important also for us women to respect ourselves. The man at Wal*Mart has probably tried his "wine and dine" routine successfully on many women in order for him to approach me with the level of confidence that he did, but we should be different! I once read a quote that said " Being a woman does not change the kind of Christian I am, but being a Christian changes the type of woman I am." Let the men keep their money and show you that he can stimulate your mind, after all not all that glitters is gold right? Contrary to popular belief that all women want are tall, dark, and handsome men, the real gold are men that are in submission to Christ. Men that are allowing God to teach them how to be the head of their future household. Men that can pray for you when you need it, men that are humble enough to admit their faults yet strong enough to support you and your dreams. Men that will be faithful to you alone, not passing out business cards in Wal*Mart parking lots telling other women to call only during business hours. We shouldn't be moved by flashiness, looks, titles, money, and "SWAG". Those are all things the Bible calls "vanity upon vanity". Real men are kings, and we are their queens. Let us strive to honor God with our bodies and seek that God will make us godly women for the godly men we pray for. It is not what a man drives, but what drives a man that matters. A man's heart and character is more valuable than his bank account.

Yorkamazing <3 

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T.M.V -1 Samuel 16:7

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, " Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart"

One Year Anniversary: Ministry of Blogging

On July 29, 2012 it was placed in my heart to start blogging and in the twinkling of an eye, it's already been one full year! Yaaaayyyyyy! I find it so amazing how time flies, I even wrote a poem on Time when I was 18 when i realized how time will move forward regardless of what you decide to do in that given period. Anyways today I wanted to make this blog a little different in honor of my one year anniversary. I know most people will probably wonder, "Feefe, why do you blog?" so I will use this day to answer that question. My decision to start blogging came out of the realization of what God desires for me to do. I realized that my life is a ministry, and so is your life. God reminded me of the Great Commission: "Go and make disciples of all nations" (Matthew 28:16-20). In this,  God began to show me that there was more that He required of me and from me, that the things He takes me through are not merely just for me, but what I go through also serves to encourage others when they will go through it because it will attest to His faithfulness. In the Scriptures, the Word of God says

"And they triumph over him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony"-Revelation12:11a 

God has given everyone of us a ministry by just living life! You do not need to be a pastor with a congregation neither be a television evangelist in order to consider yourself a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. However, to minister, you have to speak! We have to open up about our experiences, both the good and the bad! How can we share with people that God is a merciful God if we never share when we deserved the wages of our sin, yet He showed us mercy? How can we say that God is a provider, if no one knows of the periods where He stepped in and made a way when we had no money in the bank? How is God a healer, if we cannot let people know of moments He has healed us? How will people know that God is a deliverer if we live our lives like we were always Christians because we refuse to tell people about the "old" you that pass away? (2 Corinthians5:17) You know, the old you that used to curse, club hop, think lustfully, drink and dishonor God with the very bodies He has ordained to be holy? Yes when God saved us, His love redeemed us, but we have a responsibility to let the world know that the same God that gave us a new life, can do the same for them if they only confess Christ and repent! This is the ministry that God has given every one of us! Don't hold your tongue when what you have gone through can save another person's life and possibly their soul!

God has given me the grace to live a transparent life: what you see is what you get. I do not find it shameful to share my experiences good or bad because they all are opportunities to share God and give God glory. Paul said " therefore I will boost all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest upon me".( 2Corinthians 12:9) because people can see God more when there is less of us! Our weaknesses exposes Christ's power so why would we want to hide what we go through when it can serve as an opportunity for God to show up, and show out in all His glory and majesty? YOU are a minister of Christ Jesus, a man of God, a woman of God! We are in the world to represent our Father in everything we do and in any and every possible arena to do so. That's why I blog. That's why I share my struggles and my triumphs. I am by no means perfect, neither am I the best studier of the Bible, not the holiest, not the most knowledgeable, no better than anyone out there. In short, I am merely a 23 years old woman with flaws, living by grace, praying daily to reflect the perfect Love of my Father, but all my weaknesses are tools in the hands of the Almighty. When I started this blog, I wrote on My Mission is Love and a year later I thank God for using this small blog to touch so many lives. One year, almost 5,000 hits later, over 13 different countries and one book publication later, I am pressing towards the Great Commission. I can only pray that God continues to humble me to blog only as He directs and that whatever anyone reads here, will be to their benefit and to His glory. I challenge everyone to make use of the ministry that is their life. The Bible talked about the men with talents and how two used their talents to even make profit but one buried his. God has deposited talents in all of us and we only have to make use of them to make profit, which is to save souls. Do not bury your talent because you think it's too small. Whatever it is, use it and watch God bless it! I pray that as we share our experiences and minister to the world, may souls be saved, and God be praised! Amen!

Yorkamazing <3

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TMV- Hebrews 10:24

"Let us consider one another, how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds"

The Accident Was On Purpose

It never ceases to amaze me how much I can have my life figured out and planned, and then something happens that contradicts everything I have hoped for and planned! Last time I blogged was exactly 2 months ago and I was thanking God for seeing me through undergrad and apologizing for not blogging in a long time due to school related stress and a hectic schedule. I assumed that since it was summer time that I'll have a lot more time to blog daily or at least weekly but on June 3, 2013 on my way to work I was involved in a really bad car accident. While being rushed to the hospital, I remember telling the EMS guy, " This is definitely not how I envisioned my summer!", and he laughed and said "No one ever plans for an accident." While that statement is true, I laugh today because I realized that that statement does not apply to God and His unimaginable ways of doing things! My Accident was on purpose! I didn't understand why it happened then, but today I can say that I have a little more understanding of the Word of God that says,

"And we know that All things work together for good to those that loved God, to those who are the called according to His purpose"- Romans 8:28

Within my own heart, I already planned my summer and how I was going to work a lot to save money before pharmacy school. Overall it was going to be a busy summer but God had different plans. The effects of the accident left me in severe pain (bruised ribs, knees, shoulders, upper and lower back pains) and I started physical therapy to ease the pain and restore me back to pre-accident conditions. Because of the pain, I was ordered not to work so my day consisted of waking up, going to therapy and coming right back to bed to rest and that's when it hit me! This God that I serve found a way to give me a vacation! (laughs) I find this so funny today when I think about it because those that know me know that I do not like being idle but after graduation, my entire body just wanted to rest as though I needed time to just breath, to sit still, to have "me time"and God provided a way for that to happen, in the most unthinkable fashion. With physical therapy included massages both with human hands and with machines and they felt amazing! I all of a sudden had time to stay home and study my Bible, have  morning and evening devotions and just reflect with God! I was able to read some of the books I've been planning to read, and concentrate on getting all the requirements I need for pharmacy school done without hassle. It started appearing like God just wanted to slow me down to talk to me and give me rest even though in ambulance on my way to the hospital, this was the farthest thing from my mind.

This entire incident taught me a very important lesson: With God, there are no accidents! What we face, though they may surprise us, are not surprises to God. He allows things to happen for a divine purpose that will be revealed to us at the appointed time. I think of Job and how before the devil could do anything to him, he first got permission from God and God allowed things to happen to Job knowing that Job loved Him. This should encourage us to not quickly write off events as "bad". There are NO BAD events with a Good God because all things work together FOR GOOD! Though Job lost so much, at the end, God blessed Him with more than he lost. I am not sharing this experience to just say that the summer was easy, because I have been in physical therapy for almost 2 months and my car was totaled but in the midst of all this, God showed me the bigger picture of how much was able to get done with peace! And just like with Job, even though I lost a lot in the accident, I am trusting God for total restoration. I know He'll provide a newer and better car in due season and health wise, today I feel stronger and better than I have felt all summer because God has healed me and is healing me daily. The Scriputeres tell us in Psalm 37:23 that "the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and He delights in his ways". If God is the one ordering our steps, then ask yourself what can surprise Him? There are no surprises, no accidents because everything has a purpose. This blog post is serving as a testimony and as a thanksgiving of God's divine protection, and care! He watches over His own jealously so be encourage and ask God to give you patience to wait and see the divine purpose for everything you are facing because NOTHING about you or your life is an accident!

Yorkamazing <3

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TMV-Proverbs 16:4

"The LORD has made everything for its purpose; Even the wicked for the day of trouble"

God Bless the Broken Road

I have not been blogging as often as I would love to, but I am happy to say that the reason why I've been M.I.A was to focus on school and on May 18, 2013 I GRADUATED from The University of Texas-Austin! I am now officially a college graduate and I give all glory to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for seeing me through.Father in Heaven knows it was not an easy 4 years. I struggled through some semesters, cried through others, but in all the struggles, God was faithful! As I write this, the song that has been playing on my heart is "God Bless the Broken Roads" by Rascal Flatts. Though it can be seen as a romantic song, I sincerely want to thank God for all the broken roads in college that led me to where I am today. If college was a smooth journey, I would probably never have discovered God's purpose for my life because I would have stuck with engineering, which was MY plans.

Most people know that I started college as a chemical engineering major but I graduated as a chemistry major! This change was the biggest and hardest thing for me to do and it required my 100% dependence on God's plans for my life because God was pulling me towards pharmacy, but I was determined to stay with engineering, not because I didn't love pharmacy, but because I was scared of the stigma that was associated with switching out of engineering! I remember crying to God and begging Him to make engineering His Will for me because engineering was all I knew. I went to an engineering high school, got to college and was heavily involved in engineering organizations and conferences, and all my friends were engineering majors BUT here God was pulling me away from my comfort zone! How was God pulling me away? I felt miserable in engineering, like a shadow of myself,  I put on weight, grades were suffering, basically my world was crumbling down on me, but I was willing to struggle through it convinced that I could do it but God was pounding hard at the door of my heart. In the midst of this battle with God, I got offered an internship with LyondellBassell and I remember screaming at God "SEE! I can do this! Let me do it!" and yet God said NO! I cried, I begged, I pleaded with God in tears, but despite the tears and all my hurt, the Lord pulled me farther away from that field and closer to pharmacy. He asked me why I was scared and I told Him I didn't want people to think that I couldn't do it and He said to me " Since when did you start caring about what people think? We've already been through this struggle and have already conquered it." I reminded Him of the internship offer and God just made it clear that I had to decline and reminded me of His Word in the book of Isaiah which  says

" Your thoughts are not My thoughts, neither are your ways, My way," declares the LORD, "As the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts"- Isaiah 55:8-9  

After a night of battling with God through tears, I gave up my will for His Will, declined the internship offer, and fell asleep crying. I remember waking up the next morning with the greatest peace I've ever felt in college. I knew exactly what God wanted me to do so that very day, I changed my major to Chemistry, pre-pharmacy and put all my confidence in Christ that His plans for me where good plans (Jeremiah 29:11). No longer was I scared of what people were going to say when they found out i switched out of engineering and in addition, I was just so much happier! I am sharing this today to encourage and let everyone know that we should pray that God reveals the blessing in each one of our hardships. When things don't work out the way we plan, we should rejoice because if what is happening is not our plans, then it must be God's plan. The Word of God says that God will not withhold ANY GOOD THING from His children.

"For the Lord is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless" -Psalm 84:11

There are a lot of things/struggles I faced in college that I left out of this blog but the main point remains that God knows what is best for you and He DESIRES to give them all to you but this might require Him to allow you to cry a little in order to get you to come to Him and ask Him what HIS WILL for your life is.  Today as I sit to write this, I am just in awe of God's faithfulness to know that He is indeed a loving Father so thank Him for all the broken roads in your life whether its a change in major like my own, a failed relationship, a lost job, a broken down car, etc etc. My 4 years of college had many broken roads, but long story short, here I am today with a B.S in Chemistry and admission into the #4 pharmacy school in the nation, something I NEVER dreamt could happen because my GPA was not the best and I was not the smartest. God is simply a faithful God. Roads broken by God will take you places you've never imagined! I bless God for all the broken roads that led me here.

Yorkamazing <3

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T.M.V- Jeremiah 29:11 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Why the Rush?

 I wanted to write and share what God is speaking to me. I've been doing a lot of growing up lately. One of the ways God is making me grow up is in making me realize that I shouldn't rush Him. I know a specific area in which I myself know that I'm trying to force the Hand of God to make it happen, but I hear God saying to slow down. As a child of God, we are to know that God only wants the best for us and sometime in order to give us the best, we might just have to wait.  He said

" I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD, " plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"- Jeremiah 29:11

"For the Lord is our sun and shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right"- Psalm 84:11

God knows what we want, but He also knows what we need and there's a big difference in the two. Imagine a man complaining about his lack of a fancy smartphone to God but in the process of his complaints, God reminds him that He woke him up that morning, got him to work safely, gave him strength to work, and then brought him home safely.....none of the things the man prayed for, but all of the things that the man NEEDED. When it comes to God, I am learning that God prioritizes our needs. He will give you want you need, and we should thank Him for the times He gives us our wants. This simple concept is revealed in the Lord's Prayer. 

"Our Father, Who art in Heaven. Hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. GIVE US THIS DAY, OUR DAILY BREAD"- Matt 6:9-11

Jesus prayed for God to provided our DAILY need, THIS DAY. God did not intend for us to be in a hurry but to daily rely on Him, trusting that He will provide each need as we face them. I did not intend to blog tonight but in the middle of studying now, while also thinking about a lot of things, God placed all of this on my heart to give me peace. As I write this, God is ministering to my own spirit. So today, right now, in this very moment, I let go of all my concerns about tomorrow, about school, family, about future relationship,finances,  health, friendship.....everything. I let go of my desire to make things happen, by fire by force. I release my wants and self-will, trusting that God will supply my needs. No longer will I succumb to the fears of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, so help me God. If it's God's Will, it will happen. My job is to trust, wholeheartedly in what He has promised and worship Him in the waiting period. When I ask, I will ask with thanksgiving, knowing that whatever the outcome is, whether I like it or not, God is to be praised. That's where I am now. I pray that we all grow to realize that there's a season for everything. If it's not yours now, it doesn't mean it will never be your season. It just means its not now for it will surely come. Let's slow down and enjoy this moment, this day, thanking God for the NOW MOMENTS, the gift of the PRESENT. Let us all let go, and let God perfect that which concerns us. Amen. It is Well.

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T.M.V - Philippians 4: 19

"And the LORD shall supply all your needs, according to His riches in glory through Christ Jesus"

The Knock on the Door

I remember the night I gave my life to Christ. It was during a Sunday evening prayer session on May 23, 2013. I was 13 years old and have been raised in church since birth. I knew of God, but God did not know me. I say this because church was just something I did because my parents did it so technically I went to church to please my parents, not because I had any convictions of God. On that particular night, however, I left to church with my family and for the first time in my life  I told myself "Today I'm actually going to listen." I've grown accustomed to daydreaming during church but that night, my spirit was quiet. Till today, I honestly can not say what made me just want to listen that night but as I sit here to type this, I am realizing that my soul was longing for home. Though only 13, life had been hard and my spirit was tired of wandering. In my heart of hearts, I knew there was something greater than me that was calling me. I was a very insecured girl with low self-esteem. I did not love nor respect myself or my body and so I thought it was okay for other people to treat me bad. I cursed people, fought people, called myself and others b**** but yet I sang in the choir on Sundays because I had no respect of God either. At the age of 13 I was already planning how I was going party in high school and get guys and you can only imagine what my plans for college were! My life was headed in a dangerous direction and I was destroying myself with my own hands. Yet the Lord had been patiently waiting at the door of my heart, knocking and that night, my soul wanted to hear Him out and just see what exactly He wanted and His reason for the knocks.

I don't remember what the preacher was saying at all from that night. It felt like it was only me and God there and the room was whited out. I cried to God that night to hear me, I asked Him if He knew about all my hurt and pain, I questioned His ability to handle my mess, I confessed my doubts about Him: Was He real? Could He really forgive me? Save me? LOVE ME?! He assured me that He loved me, that He has already forgiven me, and that nothing I do can separate me from His love and then He told me to surrender to Him. I remember that part so clearly because I screamed NO! I told Him that I'm scared of being disappointed that I don't trust anyone to handle my life but me and He pulled at my heart and cried to me "TRUST ME!". The moment was so intense and I knew there was a battle for my soul that night! God was on one side calling to me and the devil with his lies was trying hard to keep me and it was up to me to make a decision! So with everything in me, I surrendered to Jesus! That moment, with red eyes and stuff-mucus filled nose, a peace that I've never felt before came into my life! I felt so free, like someone had been holding me under water and finally let up up to breathe! There are not enough words to describe that feeling when the Lord took my sins upon Himself and REDEEMED ME! I have never felt anything close to that feeling before and I just knew that God was real!As I felt the presence of God hugging me, I remember I kept crying, "Please Lord give me grace to follow You! Help me! Help me serve You" because I was so scared of serving a Perfect God. I told Him that He needed to speak to me to reassure me of His love and promises and God heard my cry and directed me to Isaiah 43

But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom,
    Cush^[a] and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you,I will give people in exchange for you,
    nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you.

After reading that, I know 100% that I have met with the one True God! His Words were so perfect and it gave me PEACE! That is my experience and since then God has changed me from the inside out and changed my perspectives on everything.  Who I am today is a result of His love, grace and mercy so today, almost 10 years later, I stand as a witness for the Lord Jesus Christ. Though I was going to share this on May 23rd, it was place on my heart to share my story tonight just to let everyone know that God is real. It hurts my heart to see girls that are struggling with the same low self-esteem I struggled with, when their Father made them with such great value! It hurts to see young man wasting away their youth and strength, living for material things that will not last and dying in the process. When I was 13, I used to say "I'll have fun now, and give my life to God when I'm older" but this is the biggest lie of the devil. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone! Life is too short to postpone such a decision. I have friends who have died at 21, 22, 25, 26 and this is why the Word of God says 

" Remember Your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say "I have no pleasure in them"- Ecclesiastes 12:1

 That night is the single most important night of my life and today, the Lord is standing at the door of your heart, knocking, ready to save you too. There's is no sin He cannot forgive AND forget, neither is there any life that He cannot turn around. What God can do with your life is far better than anything you can imagine for yourself. He already knows that you are not perfect, He knows about everything you've done, YET He wants You! Today God is calling again for you. His grace is sufficient in helping you, and His mercy will make-up for your shortcomings. Do not be afraid. All the Lord requires from you is your heart. Confess and accept Jesus into your life. In addition, if we profess to be Christians, have we absolutely surrendered to Christ? If not let us make a new declaration for Christ today. It scares me to think that if I had died before May 23, 2003, I would've been in eternal separation from God because though I went to church, I was not a born-again believer. Let us not play with our salvation for a time is coming when it'll be too late to change.  This is the cry of my heart tonight that we all come to know Christ and have the abundant life that is only found in Him. If no one has ever told you, know this: Jesus Loves You! 

Yorkamazing <3
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T.M.V- Revelation 3:20

"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."

Be Good to People

What has been on my heart lately is the phrase " Be good to people". I can be quoted saying that I'm in the business of unnecessary kindness which is kindness with no strings attached, being good to people just because. The Lord has worked hard on me to get me to this point in my spiritual journey where I know the importance of genuinely loving people. I put the word "genuinely" as the adjective to describe my love for people because I look around and I see a lot of pretending and what is known as a lot of lip-service in love and friendship. When kindness come from the lips and not the heart, we fool ourselves, not God. The Word of God says

" Just as water reflects the face, so the heart reflect the person" - Psalm 27:19
"A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart"- Proverbs21:2

I've have been in serious thought of this lately and when my spirit ponders on something, I have a tendency to be very quiet or to in a way, detach myself from my surrounding. In my solitude, I wondered, if the Lord weighs the heart, then how much exactly does my heart weigh before God? I can profess to love you, can be nice to you by my own standards, but are my actions pure before God? Am I being nice to you and wishing you well, but secretly within myself wishing you to fail or experience bad luck? When I say I am happy for you, do I mean it?  If the heart reflects the person, then what kind of person I am...to God? These were the questions that were running through my head and the Lord gave me the answer. The Lord placed the following prayer in my heart: "Father all that this person has done for me, I want you to do double that for them" then He said to me " Feefe, If the person you are wondering how you treat them, stands before Me to say this prayer, how will you feel?"

That's when it hit me and the Lord began to explain to me. The prayer can either be a blessing or a curse. If you have been sincere in your dealings with people, then the prayer is a blessing. If you've spent time praying for the success and health of others,  if you've celebrated with them in their time of jubilee and offered comfort in their time of sorrow, then when those people stand before God and say "Father double what they wish for me to them", imagine the blessing that comes your way! BUT if you've spent your time in eye-service, pretending to care when you truly were happy that something unfortunate happened to a "friend", or withholding help when they needed you, then that prayer is a curse and it should make you very uncomfortable. The Lord said at the end of the following verse

"I will bless those that bless you and whoever curses you shall be cursed"- Genesis 12:9

Just when you thought you could "get away" with treating people however you want, God is like #POW! That verse scares me. There's so much power in that statement! Whether we are blessed or cursed can be attributed to how we treat others. This is why some people, though less educated and less prominent in society, always seem to be one step ahead because they give, they give constantly, and they give whole-heartedly. Their kindness doesn't even have to be known, they don't need to be recognized or applauded because they love as a way to serve God. Sincerity goes a long with God and He will honor that which you do in love.  If you don't think that you are blessed, instead of praying for yourself, take the time to say a prayer for someone else. Instead of seeking comfort, be the one to comfort someone. In everything, surrender yourself to the service of others. Do not let your kindness be dependent on how others treat you. Even when you are mistreated, love! Don't repay evil with evil but overcome evil with good! Do good! You gain by losing when it comes to the things of God so make it a little less about you, and more of Him because He must increase and you must decrease. (John3:30). When you commit yourself to God, He handles your business! (Matther6:33) so be good to people and be sincere in your thoughts towards them. It can only bless you. May the Lord break our hearts for what breaks His and may we never stop desiring to be more like Him. Amen.

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T.M.V -Proverbs14:31

"Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God."

Happy Resurrection Day!!

I want to wish everyone a happy Easter celebration of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! The Grave is empty!! Our Savior is Risen! Thank You for loving us Lord!!

The Song says it All!

♫Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He's coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day ♫

Yorkamazing <3

T.M.V- Mark 16: 6

And he saith unto them, Be not affrighted: Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified: he is risen; he is not here: behold the place where they laid him

What About You? -Cece Winans

Everybody's looking for a peace that flowsAnd everybody wants a place to goNobody wants to kneel and pray

So nobody receives results without faithWhen someone falls along the waysideAnd everybody knows whyAnother heart sadly broken

Everybody needs someone to loveEverybody wants some hand to holdEverybody needs salvation for their soulSo what about you?

Everybody wants to live life goodDoes anyone live the way they shouldIt's never too late to turn around'Cuz everyone lost can be found

So when you're feeling so aloneDon't think that you can't come homeAnd when you want to be heldMy arms are open so let me know

Everybody needs someone to loveEverybody wants some hand to holdEverybody needs salvation for their soulSo what about you?

Yorkamazing <3

No Condemnation

I've been on the topic newness for a while now but the phrase place in my spirit today about newness was "No Condemnation." I want to write on the subject of a new beginning in Christ Jesus and reflect on the mercy of God. Romans 8:1 says

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"

Often times we get stuck on our past mistakes and shortcomings that we condemn ourselves. It is a good thing that we feel remorse for our wrong doings because that is a sign of the hand of the Holy Spirit pulling us towards righteousness. In our remorse however, we must remember God's mercy. There is no sin that God's mercy cannot pardon IF we come to Him and repent. If you search the Word of God and look at the life of David, you will see the abundance of God's mercy. David lied, committed adultery with another man's wife and then killed the husband, yet the Bible describes him as "a man after God's heart". Why? Because every time David fell short of God's glory, he realized it and approached God crying on bended knees. 

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned "- Psalm 51: 1-4a

God is a Just God but He's a loving God. He will not turn a deaf ear to your cries. We cannot hold God to the standards of how man forgives. If you offend someone today, they may forgive you but they may not. In the case where they do forgive, often times we hear them say "I can forgive, but never forget." This is not how God works. God forgives AND forgets. He will never use something you did 5 years ago or 5 minutes ago against you if you've truly repented. His mercies are new every morning meaning there is always enough mercy to cover you. All the Lord requires of you is a broken spirit. 

"The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."-Psalm 51:17

With this we can boldly approach the throne of Grace and Mercy and ask for forgiveness. Jesus Christ died on the cross for you and me, for all the wrong we've done, for all the wrongs we do daily, and for all the wrongs that we can possibly commit. You are covered! This is not an excuse to live recklessly though.Apostle Paul asked " Should we continue in sin that grace may abide?" and he answered himself saying " God forbid". God's mercy covers us when we fall, but His grace enables us to strive towards perfection and a holy life. Therefore if you are struggling with past mistakes and sin, I urge you to go to God about it and ask for His forgiveness. He will forgive but then you also must forgive yourself. You are still precious to Him, you are still of great value. Remember that a lost piece of gold has not lost its value, just its usefulness. If that lost gold is found, it still carries the value of gold therefore know that you are still God's gold. Allow God to restore you to your proper position in life. 

Jesus Restores

Yorkamazing <3

T.M.V- 2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

The Grace to Love

Tonight I read 1 Corinthians 13. It's one of my all time favorite chapters in the Bible because it speaks on the real definition of LOVE which is Christ-Like sacrificial love, the type that hurts you when you CHOOSE to act it out. Today at work I witness a particular event occur that involved two pharmacist working at different stores, and an elderly man that needed approximately 12 prescriptions filled. The man seemed to be having a hard time with his primary pharmacist who didn't appear concerned with whether or not the elderly man got his medications. After many unsuccessful tries to which the pharmacist told the man " if you don't like it, switch pharmacies!" this man called our pharmacy to transfer his prescriptions over. My pharmacist was able to transfer the prescriptions and I filled it all for the man. Upon arriving to pick up his medication, the man expressed his gratitude and vowed to permanently remain with our store because of his pleasant experience. While at work something about this experience dawned on me. Both pharmacist were highly qualified and capable of helping this man so I began to ask myself, what was the difference between these pharmacist that made the man prefer our location over the competitor? It was LOVE. I often time hear that no one cares what you know until they know how much you care. This was the case. Both pharmacist are pharmaceutical doctors and masters of their field yet one spoke in hostility and the other in love, and love made the difference. This is what the 1 Corinthian 13 meant.

       " If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 

  
No matter how educated we are, if we walk without love, we will have ZERO influence on the world. I cannot talk about love without mentioning that Love is not a feeling, it is a deliberate choice to reflect Christ in our relationships with others. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

More times then not, loving people will involve being able to forgive them. I find it interesting that 1 Corinthians 13 says that "Love keeps no record of wrongs" which means Love turns the other cheek over and over again just like Christ did. In the Scripture they ask Jesus, " Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" -Matthew 18:21 "If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."- Luke 17:4 With dealing with love we have to remember the Lord's prayer that said " Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us". We will never know love, until we learn to forgive for it was in forgiving us of our sins, that Christ showed His Love for us. In a world that doesn't recognize Christ, we must choose to be the walking reflection of Him. Our speech should encourage like His, our hands should hug like His, our feet should tread the path of peace, and our hearts should show forth His compassion to the very least among us. Love is a hard choice when we try to do it own our own because we are imperfect, but the grace of God can help us. It makes a difference in how others see us, and will even make people that do not know God, at the very least, inquire about the God that we serve that makes us so different. I pray to God that He helps us to be like Him everyday. The song "Jesus Friend of Sinners" by Casting Crowns have been on my heart all week and the line that resonates with me is "♫ Let our hearts be led by mercy, Help us reach with open hearts and open doors. Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks Yours ♫- ♥ I pray that the things that break God's heart will break our hearts too. I pray that we all become agents of love and forgiveness and may we learn each day to put aside our hurt and pride, and reach out with love not for us, but for the Glory of God. Amen.

Yorkamazing <3

T.M.V- Matthew 18:21

                        "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."